🏫 Back to School with a Child Who Has a Visible Difference

The back-to-school (or start of school) season brings excitement, fresh supplies, and renewed routines - but for families navigating the school setting with a child who has a visible difference, it can also come with a swirl of emotions and extra prep. Whether it’s your first time or you’re seasoned pros, there’s no single “right way” to handle the transition. Each family finds their rhythm, and we’re here to share what’s helped ours.

🤝 Start with Communication

One of the most effective things we did last year was connect early with the school. At the time of registration - before she started Kindergarten - I sent them an email sharing some information about Mackenzie. That started the conversation to schedule time with teachers and staff, have open conversations, and share what support could help our child thrive.

📝 Wait! What Is a 504 Plan and an IEP?

When preparing for the school year, it’s helpful to understand the tools available to support children with disabilities - and that includes knowing the difference between a 504 Plan and an IEP (Individualized Education Program).

• 504 Plan:
  This is a plan developed to ensure a child with a disability has equal access to education. It may include accommodations like extra time on assignments, adaptive equipment, modified seating, or physical assistance. It’s covered under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act, which is a civil rights law.

• IEP (Individualized Education Program):
  An IEP is a more in-depth educational plan designed for students who need specialized instruction. It’s part of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and includes measurable goals, support services, and regular progress reviews. An evaluation process is required to determine eligibility. Your child could receive "minutes" that they will work with different educators and therapies to achieve their goals.

Both plans aim to remove barriers and empower students to succeed—but they serve slightly different needs. If you're wondering which is right for your child, it’s best to talk with your school’s special education team or counselor.

🔗 For more information, you can visit:

• U.S. Department of Education – IDEA

• Parent Center Hub: 504 vs. IEP

• The Nora Project

And if you need a real-world conversation about how these plans work day-to-day, check out our podcast episode featuring Tarah Behrens, an educator and member of the Limb Difference Collective. She breaks it down with clarity, compassion, and lots of personal insight. Listen Here

📄 Introducing Your Child with Confidence

Years ago, a friend through social media shared a simple introduction template with us - and it’s been a powerful tool we’ve used for preschool and now in elementary school. We've provided this to our child's teachers and administration, and I even chose to share it in a Facebook group of parents at my daughters new school. My heart was racing when I hit share. Is this too much? Is it too cheesy? Would they accept her? The response made me cry tears of joy. Many parents responded sharing that they loved what we shared, and showed their children, who would become Mackenzie's classmates, and they were so excited to meet her!

We’ve customized it for ourselves to help teachers and peers learn about our child's difference in an affirming way. It includes:

• Her name and a few things she loves

• Helpful tips for talking about limb differences

• A list of books, media, and resources for curious minds

We’re happy to pass it along to anyone who’d like it. Here’s a Link to the Canva Template. It’s easy to tweak and personalize - use it however suits your child best.

🧪 Try Before the First Bell

Before the big day, we run a few “school readiness drills” to make sure daily tasks feel manageable and empowering. Some things we try:

• Opening backpacks (sometimes adding a keychain to the zipper helps!)

• Unsnapping lunchboxes and twisting water bottles

• Changing shoes (Velcro? Zippers? Find what works)

It’s not about perfecting every task—just making small adjustments that build independence and confidence. And if a certain item proves frustrating, you still have time to swap or adapt.

💬 Let Curiosity Be Kind

Kids will have questions. Parents and teachers will, too. That’s why tools like our intro template and book list matter - they give others the language and perspective to respond thoughtfully. We believe visible differences aren’t things to hide - they’re experiences to celebrate.

If you’re walking into the school year wondering how it will go, just know: you’re not alone. There’s a community here, and plenty of parents willing to share their trials, wins, and hacks. You can find more of our reactions and check-ins from last year on the podcast and social media. Keep an eye out as we will try to update more this year, too!

From our family to yours, may this year be full of growth, connection, and confident strides. Did you find this helpful? Did you take a different direction with your child's school? Let us know what you think! Respond to our Instagram post or send us an email at info@limbdifferencecollective.org

If you feel your child might benefit from a 504 Plan or an IEP (More Details Below), you may choose to not wait for them to come to you and suggest it - you can start the conversation now. Every school is different. This may be the first time they have experienced a difference like this and it might take time to figure things out, or they might have resources and support in place to help you and your child throughout the course of their school experience.

In our case, the school administrators invited us to a meeting, in person, with others on conference call. The attendees included the Vice Principal who is the “case manager”, a Student Services Coordinator, one of the kindergarten teachers, the school nurse, physical education teacher, and the district’s physical therapist, occupational therapist. Together we set up a 504 Plan that outlines accommodations tailored to her limb difference. Through some connections with the Illinois Assistive Technology Program we had that summer, they offered to be on the call as well and gave some feedback on different ideas or tools they could suggest, too!